I
he lifted his face to the sky
and flew out of the empty building
his face golden with moon reflections
at that moment his soul sprouted wings
as he floated higher and higher
the wings lifting him like a bird
he saw his body dropping
he saw it hit the floor
all was stillness
he felt his heart and soul grow lighter still
the music continued to play to the body below
the body smiled into the calmness
there was nothing but the breeze
and the whirr of the walkman
II
I saw you later standing outside of Cadbury's
at first I heard the parrot
"Aach its Mr Cadbury's parrot"
as you had squawked all those years ago
Pete bought Wispas for youth club cheap
Mr A sold them in his living room.
Mr A thought you were Pete, dear Miles
You weren't happy working at Cadbury's
We wanted Old Deal not fucking New Deal
For 38 hours a week you took home a mere one hundred pounds
As the car I was in sped past Cadbury's
I saw you turn and kick the bin
You kicked it in.
III
I always thought you were like me.
I still think that you are.
How could you leave us like this?
We never said goodbye.
All you have left me with is a myriad of metaphors.
You nearly talked to me
before
you died
I wish you had.
you left with consequence.
IV
I heard you painted tower block canvases
Modern art - we talked about it
The revolution was coming, man
you said the sunshine had faded
to a glare
you've faded our sunshine now
my youth jumped off that block
with you...
V
Butterfly
you soar
we miss you more
than you could comprehend
I never dreamt
that the dream of you
at fifteen
could come true
I dreamed you were
successful in your suit at 25
not laid out in an oak coffin
in your brand new suit
Butterfly
take pollen from your sunflowers
soar the skies
you were always successful to me
6 comments:
moving...
sure is...
I remember the day he came to our flat having got the job at Cadbury's. We sat in the garden and talked about how awesome it was that he'd be working with photoshop and Macs and stuff. I remember the first time I met him and he fell off his chair while Rick Bray chugged a can of tennants super. I remember how beautiful he looked the day Dave and Jen got married, and how he towered above everyone there, as full of pride for a friend as I've ever seen anyone. I remember the time we were in the front room at drayton road at about 1 o'clock in the morning and we both heard the cat miaowing after the line "The cat's just finished off the bread," having listened to "pinball" over and over and over again all day.
I remember the Door Handle at VIP, I remember the Lemon on the Light Switch, I remember Demolition Derby, I remember Clock Made Out Of A Tin Of Beans, I remember Weird Economy Larger, I remember Bundle Dave, Graham and Paul to the Floor in Twiggs Whilst They're Looking at Low Lying Magazines, I remember Bicycles and Walkmen and Walking and Walkmen and I remember "It's called Smoko Di Roco Because it's Like Being On A Train." I remember the artist as a young man, and there is love and laughter in every memory and it reaches him.
Altogher now... "Well, I went on a roller coaster last night, when I was feeling bad..."
I remember getting to know him over many evenings drinking litres of stolen wine. I remember us doing the guitar dance together on many an occasion. I remember carrying him home from the park. I remember the sh*t in the chair styles, the "hay da pa hummmm" and the "errr, tramp!". I remember the bees he saw in the rug while tripping.
I remember him vomiting all over my England shellsuit back in 1991.
"Did you tell 'em about the scooter?"
I remember how you could trust him with your life, but not with your woman. I remember how the survival of no piece of furniture was more important than the humour in its destruction. I remember the man who couldn't see himself through other people's eyes, because if he had then he couldn't have failed to have been satisfied. He was loved, more than he knew when he finally quit.
I remember collapsing on the floor and sobbing when I heard the news. Sometimes I think it's stopped aching, but then it aches again.
Soft, strong, and very very long...
I remember:
An immaculately kept flat
Speakers on yellow springs
Riding the bus to Jims to pay for last weeks 5 bag and trying to sub another for the evening, every week for a month
Smoking and chatting into the night about life the universe and everything
His sincere expression when talking about something he was passionate about
No Frills Economy lager
Being bundled to the floor in Twiggs
Having a celebratory dance in the street whenever an unplanned meeting occurred
Walking around Sainsburys and through the checkout with cups of tea
How hard he could hit with a pillow (or sometimes whole sofa section)
Talk of breakdancing competitions
Wasting our only 20p coin to phone a taxi and asking for "Fish and chips, twice" and getting hung up on.
Laughing so hard for so long that we forgot what we were laughing about
I remember being continuously impressed by his sincerity, creativity and humour
I remember him often telling me to "Travel lightly brother"
I remember feeling privileged to have somebody of that quality as a close friend
I remember some of those things
I remember, at the time, thinking, "I wish I had the words..."
I still think that now...
Especially now
x
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